rebel machine

THERE ONCE WAS A MAN FROM GARAGELAND

I took the Carl Wilson rock-lyric limerick challenge -- and while I started off with a bit of the Sabbif, I eventually got the deranged idea in my head to do an entire album. Hence: London Calling in limerick form.

I.
A nuke fell on fair London town
I'd like it if you could come down
Fake Fab Fours have vanished
The grain is all famished
And I really don't want to drown.

II.
My girl procured an El Dorado
And cussed me out with much bravado
Where did she acquire it?
I'd like to admire it
Shame she's incommunicado.

III.
A rasta named James was once fearless
'Til he was found headless and earless
I was quizzed by a copper
'Bout a suspect be-bopper
But I've no idea where that heel is.

IV.
A cohort of mine's a supplier
And I am his number-one buyer
The others all croaked
They OD'd and choked
I'd feel bad, but my memory's dire.

V.
I wake up and I have a Red Stripe
And listen to all of my friends gripe
But the goods at the store
Just don't help me no more
That's life when you're sort of a dread type.

VI.
It seems the fascists are resurgent
And Civil War's now re-emergent
The poets had rifles
But they were all stifled
The bombs blew up all the insurgents.

VII.
There once was an actor named Clift
Whose car and downfall were both swift
A crash wrecked his phiz
And he failed in the biz
Where's my pills, arrrghhhgorra buh bhuh do arrrrgggghhhhnnnn

VIII.
Ennui strikes in the middle of Tesco
I don't fit in where all of the rest go
My life is the pits
But at least Salsoul Hits
And some lager will make it feel less so.

IX.
Here's how to turn youth into drones:
Just work them 'til it breaks their bones
Let them channel their rage
Wearing navy and beige
And hate those of swarthier tones.

X.
When policemen knock in the night
It's your choice, surrender or fight
Lambeth youth in estates
Carry Jimmy Cliff weight
But can they survive? Well, they might.

XI.
There once was a man named Lloyd Price
Wrote a song about murder and vice
Some guys made it rocksteady
So it's covered already
But I believe this'll suffice.

XII.
You may think you're striking a chord
That the sellout's an option ignored
But my time in the lab says
If you bone an abbess
You'll soon become men of the Lord.

XIII.
A portfolio based around pop
May push your career to the top
But Madison Ave
Will degrade what you have
51 floors are quite a drop.

XIV.
A gambler whose heart had been hurt
Kept a King up the sleeve of his shirt
But nobody was tricked
A gun's hammer clicked
Now he's six feet under the dirt.

XV.
You may treat your lady fantastical
But here's some advice that is practical
While you're getting your thrill
She may be off the pill
So please keep your sex prophylactical.

XVI.
There's a certain morbid quartet
That heralds an unpleasant debt
And if you complain
How your life's full of pain
They'll school you and not break a sweat.

XVII.
I've been clobbered right on the melon
And treated like some sort of felon
Don't give me some spiel
'Bout your macho appeal
I really won't find it compellin'.

XVIII.
We've devised a new type of combo
That plays rock and reggae and mambo
Roots rebels we are
Because we play guitar
And organ and trumpet and trombo.

XIX.
I know this is kind of last-minute
But the lurch? Seems that you left me in it
You never came back
So we added this track
And maybe club DJs will spin it.

posted by Nate P. @ 12:44 PM